Closed the Cycle

Closing Cycle [Paolo Coelho]

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on
staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and
the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing
cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it,
what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have
finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did
you leave your parents house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-
lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You cans pend a long time
wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won t
take another step until you find out why certain things that were so
important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like
that.

But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone
involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your
children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning
over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad
seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the
past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things
that happen to us.

What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late
adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents,
lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone
away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass,
and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it
is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs,
move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the
books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible
world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain
memories also means making some room for other memories to take
their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and
sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect
your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your
love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to
watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how
much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you,
nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love
relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there
is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for
the ideal moment.

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell
yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that
there was a time when you could live without that thing or that
person nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may
sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very
important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but
simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change
the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you
were, and change into who you are.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
17 July 2005

I've closed the cycle.

I'm really not sure if its the right thing to do. I love her so much. But I guess I really felt short of what was enough. I thought I gave it my all, but maybe I didn't give anything at all.

I had a foot outside the door. But now I guess I had to drag the other foot outside and close the door.

I'm slowly caving in. Retreating to the comforts of my inner self. My life has hit another winter. I have to hibernate.

Goodbye. It shouldn't be this way.

What the?!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56% Stability |||||||||||| 46% Orderliness |||||| 30% Empathy |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical |||||||||| 36% Artistic |||||||||||| 43% Religious |||||||||||||||| 70% Hedonism |||||| 23% Materialism |||||||||||| 43% Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Work ethic |||||||||||| 50% Self absorbed |||||||||| 36% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 63% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||| 76% Romantic |||||||||||| 50% Avoidant |||||| 30% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70% Wealth |||||||||||| 43% Dependency |||||| 30% Change averse || 10% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43% Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Sexuality |||||||||||||| 56% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56% Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70% Food indulgent |||||||||| 36% Histrionic |||||| 23% Paranoia |||||| 23% Vanity |||||| 30% Hypersensitivity |||||| 30% Female cliche |||| 16%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.


trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, not rule conscious, rebellious, rash, weird, ambivalent about chaos, likes bizarre things, anti-authority, not good at saving money, not a perfectionist, leaves many things unfinished, low self control, strange, desires more attention, romantic daydreamer, abstract, impractical, unproductive, leisurely, likes the unknown.


Trip lang...

Imon to...

...you...

Hello there... Can you hear me?


...



...



...



Guess not. And it sucks.


Yes, I tried to call you. The thing is... YOUR GODDAMN PHONE IS ALWAYS BUSY! I stayed up all night just to contact you, thinking maybe you're talking with your mom or something... But poor me... IT WAS NOT THE CASE.

And I did email you. But maybe you didn't receive it. OR maybe, JUST MAYBE, you weren't able to go online these days. BUT LO AND BEHOLD! You've got a new testimonial in your friendster account. Damn. Guess you're just busy.


And yeah, I was texting you. But no reply, still, as of this moment. Answering my SMS is expensive, on your part. Too bad... I was waiting for just one damn message. Kahit blank pa yung laman.


AND YES, I AM ANGRY. You want to know why?

BECAUSE... I GODDAMN MISS YOU! AND I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA WHERE IN THE WORLD YOU ARE.


GET ME?!

Ang Pagninilay sa Meron: Ika anim na Kabanata

Ngayon naman maitatanong natin kung paano naman lumabas sa mundo itong mga bagay bagay na meron. Si Aristotle ay nagbigay ng apat na kadahilanan ng pagmemeron ng isang bagay. Ito ay ang mga pinal na kadahilanan, ang material na kadahilanan, ang kadahilanang pormal, at ang epektibong dahilan. Kahit pinal na kadahilanan ang tawag dito ay ito ang unang dahilan na lumalabas. Ito kasi ang silbi, ang gamit, ang kumbaga’y target o goalng isang bagay. Ito ang nagtutulak sa epektibong kadahilanan para gumalaw. Ang epektibong kadahilanan ay ang gumagalaw upang magawa o mailabas sa katotohanan ang konepto ng isang bagay. Ang kadahilanang pormal naman ay ang istruktura o hitsura ng isang bagay. Ito’y maaring nakikita o nararamdaman. Ang materyal na kadahilanan naman ay ang komposisyon o ang ginamit na mga sangkap upang mabuo ang isang bagay.

Ilapat natin ang mga konseptong ito sa lamesa. Ano ba ang dahilan kung bakit gumawa ng lamesa? Kasi nahihirapan siguro silang kumain o mag aral na nakalagay ang pagkain o gamit sa sahig. Kaya naisip nilang gumawa ng patungan na mataas para hindi na sa sahig ilalagay ang mga gamit. Ito ang pinal na kadahilanan. Maatim din lamang ng lamesa ang kadahilanang ito kapag siya’y ginamit na ayon sa silbi at ninanais ng gumawa sa kanya. Ang epektibong kadahilanan naman ay ang karpintero. Maaring siya ang may kailangan ng lamesa o may nagpagawa sa kanya na nangangailangan nito. Ang pormal naming kadahilanan ay ang pagkakaroon nito ng sapat na paa para masupothan ito sa pag tayo, maaring apat o tatlo, misan may ay isa pa nga eh. Pede ring naka varnish lang ito o kukulayan ng pula o asul o berde. Pedeng may disenyong dragon o mga bulaklak sa tabi nito. Ang materyal namang komposisyon nito ay maaring kahoy o plastik o bakal.

Balikan naman natin ang tao. Ilalapat natin ang apat na kadahilanang ito sa tao. Alamin, mahalin, at pagsilbihan ang Diyos, iyan ang pinal na kadahilanan ng tao. Ang pormal naming kadahilanan ay ang kaluluwa. Dahil ito ang nagpapanitili sa istruktura ng tao, kung wala nito ang tao ay hindi tao. Ang proximate efficient cause ay ang kanyang magulang, pero ang remote efficient cause naman ay ang Diyos. Ang materyal na komposisyon naman niya ay ang laman ng katawan niya, may dugo, buhok, at kung anu ano pa. Kung ating papansinin hindi pede paghiwalayin ang katawan at kaluluwa ng tao. Sapagkat ang tao ay isang composite being o ang pagmemeron niya, kahit tila isa, ay gawa sa pagsasama ng dalawang pagmemeron, ang prime matter at substanstial form.

I'm Fine.

TO: Anybody Concerned
FR: Me
RE: I'm fine.
DT: 17 April 2005

I'm fine.


Yup. You read it right. I'm F-I-N-E.


I don't need your sympathy. Nor your touching story (that is on your POV).


I know...


...that i'm alone this summer. My family's in the US, in case you haven't heard, and I'm left here to rot in summer class. SO WHAT? I aint a baby no more. I don't cry or be depressed just beacuase of that. And I dont need your version of the story of how my mom cried when she left the house or how you remember hearing our car pass by or how Joseph runs at the oval. I don't want to pat your back while you cry because of them leaving. HELLO!!! It's like your the one left alone. I pity you guys. I had my visa rejected after being stripped down naked, missing a couple of important class, having a feud with my parents about leaving, and waking up early just to get my passport. And add up the stress I had to go to just to "listen" to the infinite number of people who was deeply saddened by my misfortune. And now look at me, I'm the one fine. Wake up people. It's not the end of the world. A family is not broken because of distance, it is broken because of distrust. A family is made not because of living in one roof, it is made because of love. Love's strength is not measured by proximity to each other's body, but by proximity to each other's hearts.


...I seemed to be journeying longer than anybody else. That it seems to some that I have no future, no direction at all. But think about this, between the rabbit and the turtle, the rabbit is faster than the turtle, though the rabbit reaches the end first, it does not mean that the turlte is headed nowhere. It goes towards the same goal, only slower. And maybe I'm just taking another road towards the same goal. The thing is, people seldom see that reaching the goal is the most important thing how to get there is just a subjective thing.

...that no matter what I love Her. I maybe the worst person who loved Her. But still, I loved, love and will love Her. iLOVEyou baby.

Rebellion 101

This is a guide for those Filipinos who cannot wait to overthrow the current government. I got this from my Political Dynamics professor, who said that Samuel Huntington was the one who made this list.

Overthrowing the Regime:

1. Attack the legitimacy of the regime.
2. Consolidate support from th business leaders, middle class, professionals, religiuos leaders, political party leaders. Actually, hire EVERYONE who will fight the regime.
3. Practice and preach non-violence.
4. Cultivate generals. [better have high ranking military by yor side.]
5. Promote unity among opposing groups in your alliance. find common ground.
6. When the regime falls, be prepared to quickly fill in the political vacuum.

*Nota Bene* Keep expectations low, shit happens. Be ready with your passport or yacht or submarine, in case the rebellion flops you can easily escape.

Finally.

It's been so long a time since I opened this blog. I forgot my password and was slow to actually know how to retrieve it. So here I am right now. Hello.

I wanted to change my blog. But I really don't have a good concept of how I want it to look like. there are times when I wanted it messed up and there are times when I wanted it spick and span. Dang. Maybe I'll stick with the orange color until someone discovers a new hue.

There are things I want to do now. Namely:

1. sleep
2. paly ragnarok
3. eat
4. kiss Her
5. hug Her
6. roll naked on snow
7. dunk over UST varsity players
8. graduate
9. swim [miss my PE class]
10. watch Star Wars Episode 3
11. make love [seriously]

This sucks. I have no memory whatsover of what hapen when the clock struck 12mn last Dec 31. I was dozing off already at my bed with alcohol flooding my brain. I woke up, temporarily, at 1am due to my cellphone's ring. Itwas Her. *10 Missed Calls* Wah. *looks at the time* 1:15am. Dang. I missed New Year. Will I be drunk and sleepy the whole year? I hope not.